What do you think of my opening for essay?





I have a controlled assessment in English next week so please give feedback to me asap :) The task is: Discuss the presentation of romantic relationship (husband, wife, lovers etc) in 2 to 3 of the poems studied'. I am trying to come up with a good and strong opening and this is what I came up with; Different people have different views of romantic relationships; Some people have a typical cliche view, whilst others may have some bizarre, strong opinions. A common way that romance is put across is through poetry. 'The Manhunt', 'The Hour' and 'In Paris With You' are all good examples of different romantic relationships.I know it's a cruddy opening so I really need your help!I need the introduction to be strong and allows the reader to fully understand what I am trying to prove, but I have no idea what I am actually trying to prove! Please tell me how to make it better and give me tips! Also could anyone actually explain the task to me as well? :( Please! How do I answere the task? And give me some good ideas for my ending aswell please :)



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2 Responses to “What do you think of my opening for essay?”

  1. STalker says:

    It doesnt realy capture the attention of the reader.lol i couldnt even tell which one ofthese paragraphs was the actual intro paragraph.Rewrite that **** unless u want a B-

  2. monotrochal says:

    There are many different types of relationship between people but the strongest of all is love. Even love has many faces, the love of a mother for her child, the love that exists between family members and that which friends share. Surely, however, the strongest love is that born of romance, the secret and unbreakable bond that, inexplicably, can exist between two people that only they share and truly understand. Thus we see the creation of the romantic relationship, one so powerful that people have died for it, wars have been fought, and empires have crumbled. How then would that most romantic of authors, the poet, describe romance? Many have tried to convey whatever love is, but if you take the examples cited in the poems, ‘The Manhunt’, ‘The Hour’ and ‘In Paris with You’ I think you will find some rather interesting and opinionated views of just what love and romance is when seen through the eyes of the poets who created these works.That’s how I would open my essay if it were me. Obviously you will provide the main body of the essay setting out your thoughts and impressions of each of the poems you mention. To end you need a powerful conclusion. Something like:-So there we have it, three different interpretations of the effect of romantic relationships. We have the despair of ‘The Manhunt’ by Simon Armitage, and the pain he feels from a failed relationship. We have (I’m sorry. I can’t find The Hour so don’t know what it’s about. You’ll have to do that). And finally we have ‘In Paris With You’ by James Fenton, a strange and rueful viewpoint that almost takes us to the thought of a despairing relationship, but which contains a twist at the end to show that he has indeed had an unhappy romance, which caused him pain, but is now in a new one where nothing about his surroundings matters when compared the the pleasure of the company of his new love.